Panama: August 8, 2012

An update from Chris about his treatment and his time with Jenn and the kids in Panama. Come home soon. We miss you...

Jenn and the kids and I went to the Caribbean with some friends.  It took us over an hour to get there. We had to travel through poverty stricken villages to get there. I just wanted to stop and help everywhere and everyone along the way.  To just be able to clean up and help with repairs or paint or anything! I kept saying if only I had my legs I would help them.  I kept saying that I wanted to be President so I could clean this shit up! That if I was wealthy, I would change all of this.

 We leave no one behind in our country. People who disagree with giving assistance to the poor and the less fortunate need to stroll through the villages here and see for themselves how our country could be.  We wouldn't want to travel anywhere in our country. God, there is so much garbage all through the villages and all over the roads.  The kids are just roaming barefoot and wearing nothing but underwear.  Stray Dogs rummaging for food and skinnier than hell.  My kids have seen and experienced so much.  We just buy from every roaming vendor, fruit and food stuff.  Then we give it away.

 This was the first time I was at the beach since my accident. I rode pretty well in the sand. I even popped a wheelie and muscled my way to the water’s edge. My kids were in Heaven.  They were so happy running in and out of the water. I wanted so much to be lying in the waves with them.  I stared at their little feet in the sand.  When the waves pulled the water back out I watched their feet sink and all the sand and broken seashells move through their toes. I watched them run out into the water and crash into the waves. Reminded me how excited I was at that age seeing the ocean for the first time.  That memory is stamped in my mind forever.  Anyone who has ever been to the beach knows that exact feeling. I wanted to just stand there and feel that feeling with my own toes in the sand.  I was just so focused on that feeling the whole time. I remember that annoying feeling of sand stuck to your legs after you sit in the sand. The things in life we take for granted.  Next year I promised them a trip to the ocean—an honest to goodness summer beach vacation. We always went every year but my stem cell treatments have taking all of our time and energy.  My wife and kids are struggling and are a little home sick at times. We have spent 2 months down here since my accident.  I struggle at times.  But I know this is my only chance on earth, my only shot.