It's been so long since I wrote anything. When I got home from Panama it was the beginning of December. I continued to do my therapy. The muscle movement in my lower back is still there. To be honest in December I just went through the motions and really had no drive to workout. Just the thought of Christmas coming was just a little depressing. And being in a wheelchair felt like there was just a black cloud over my head this year. Winter months have always been tough for me even when I was walking. I would have to exercise to shake the winter blues in the past. And when you're in a wheelchair you can't get the exercise like you can when you walk. With the death of my father-in-law in the end of December didn't make things any easier for my wife and kids. My kids have been through so much tragedy within the past year. We hold it all together and keep moving on.
I continue to use the Autoambulator at rehab. I got picked for a clinical trial for the re-walk program. I was so excited for this. My first session I observed another guy using the re-walk suit. My next session I actually got fitted into the device and practiced standing and sitting. I didn't get to take any steps that day. It felt so good to be standing up. There's a balance point when you're in that suit I was starting to find it and get more comfortable. I had an hour session of just standing sitting and balancing. I was so confident that I was Going to be able to learn to walk in this robotic suit. When therapy was over I got out of the suit in my chair and started heading home. When I was going to my car I had the worst abdominal pain and it kept getting worse. I got into my car broke my chair down, kicked my seat back and just tried to catch my breath because the pain was so bad. I started the car and took off down the road. I knew I had an hour drive but I just wanted to get home. I made it about a mile away from rehab center. I slammed on the brakes, did a u-turn and drove Like a NASCAR driver to the front doors of Harmerville. I kick my seatback again and laid on the horn waiting for help. A woman come walking out of the front doors waving to me as I beeped the horn. It was kind of funny in a way because she thought I was just saying hi! She come over to my window and I told her to call ambulance. The pain was so unbearable. The pain spread down my legs and even though i am paralyzed I felt tingling the whole way down to my toes. Then it went up my chest I thought I was having a heart attack. It was hands-down the worst pain I've ever felt my life. I broke my back and layed pinned under tree for five hours and was not in this much pain. I thought I was dying. Actually got to the point where I accepted if I was dying thats fine, let's just get it over with don't leave me lingering here in pain! An ambulance came and rushed me to St. Margaret's hospital in Pittsburgh.
After a bunch of testing they come to the conclusion that I had a gallbladder attack. I was admitted that night. The Ultrasound showed that I had all kind of stones in my gallbladder it was inflamed and need to be removed. Took about six hours in the ER until they finally got me to my room. I couldn't believe that was back in the hospital. I went about 36 hours without eating. Till I finally went in for surgery at 5 o'clock the next day! When I went to go in for surgery I told the surgeon if there's anything else that needs done with my body do it while you're in their cause I really don't want to come back to the hospital for a while. He chuckled a little bit and said,"you want me to remove your appendix too?". I laughed and told him I was joking. He said he would check it when he was in there and if there was a problem he would remove the appendix. When I came out of surgery the doctors told me I had more than a dozen stones in my gallbladder and my appendix had to be removed to because I was prone for appendicitis. He said it would've been a matter of time till I would've had to come back for my appendix so they just removed it. I was released the following day about 1 o'clock. I had so much abdominal pain it was scary. Plus I looked like I was about nine months pregnant. I could barely get into the car my stepdad my mother and my sister in law all had to help me in and out of my chair.
When I got home I hopped right in the bed and was so thankful to be home. I was so happy to be with my kids. Braden had to surrender his bedroom to me. It was too high of a transfe to get into my bed so I had to use Braden's room. The kids stayed in the room with me all night, playing with their toys and watching TV. That night there was no place on earth I would rather be. I was so happy to be home with my kids. The next two weeks with the hardest weeks I've ever had since being in a wheelchair. Because of the pain from the surgery I didn't move much, I didn't leave the house, I didn't drive. I did nothing but lay in bed get into my chair for an hour or two until I got sick then back in bed. I know I needed to heal from the surgery but all this sitting around and doing nothing really took its toll on me. I've always been a positive person. But I hit rock bottom. There was one particular day where I just couldn't handle all of this. I just cried all day. I just wanted to give up. I missed my old life so bad. I hated to see any photo throughout this house of me standing. I struggled so hard this week. I've learned you can't live in the past. And as crazy as it sounds I want to forget about the past. That's how I get through every day . A friend from California told me to never forget about my past and who I was. I told her I have to right now. You have to live in the present and think about the future.
What's done is done and won't ever be the same. But I pulled myself together and got through all of that mess. I just started doing more therapy at another rehabilitation center. Within the next couple weeks I will start swimming and doing water therapy. I am so excited to start swimming and getting some exercise. Just within the past week and a half my core has strengthened. My sitting balance has improved. My mobility is the best it's ever been. I got reevaluated at therapy and I've had significant improvements. My injury level is T6 I have sensory feeling at my T10 level. It has been a while since they have tested me. And learning of all these improvements and feelings couldn't of came at a better time. So I got my head on straight. I'm ready to keep fighting. When I showed the doctors in Panama what kind of therapy I been doing up here they're so excited for me. They feel with all my improvements that I am on track and meeting expectations. Today I'm scheduling my third treatment.
A week and a half ago I wanted to give up. Now I'm back in high gear ready to make something happen. I've had so many improvements since the last treatment. Such a slow process. I've taken so many phone calls from people all over the country within the past month. We exchange stories and they want to know about my stem cell treatment,that's why they call. When I tell them about my life and everything I do day-to-day they are impressed. Some have been in a wheelchair for three or four years still not driving barely making it to therapy,just struggling. Sometimes I feel like I'm not making any progress. It takes these phone calls to make me realize that I'm truly blessed. There is nothing I can't do in my life right now other than walk.
No comments:
Post a Comment